The past two months have been tough for me. I changed cities, roles, offices, locations, sleeping patterns, meals, skincare routines, to-do lists, relationships, attitude, and my media life. I’ve had to move from one extreme to another, hoping that the next will get better, but let’s just say it’s gradually getting better.
These days, I count my blessings more often, complain too about a lot, keep a calm and positive attitude, stay vigilante and live like a realist – saying things the way it is. I starve a lot and eat as many times as my body wants me to when I can. I look out for opportunities to grow and try to give my 100% best to the opportunities I get. I’ve lived on YouTube series and Netflix, explored trending songs that suit my preference. I’ve been happy, sad, broke, rich, angry, happy, cold, warm, hot, and just been living the life – my best life for now.
I miss a lot of people, places, moments, even myself, but change is a constant. My new jobs have pushed me beyond my limit, my bosses and colleagues are just the right people I need to grow beyond where I am currently, life just keeps happening and there is so much to be grateful for. I am in a happy place – well, not so happy and not so sad either, or maybe I am. My media life is gradually picking up the pace, but I’m still scared of putting myself out there for a lot of reasons. I still have panic attacks, but it gets easier by the day.
Life is in constant motion. It seems and feels static sometimes, but the dynamics change before your eyes like yesterday was June and the day after tomorrow will be August. I want to cuddle a lot sometimes, but I can’t. I just want to take a walk with someone, cuddle up, look at the skies, bask in the silence, and communicate through the stillness of the moment, but there’s too much noise around me, and even when the opportunity presents itself, I become the noisy one on the inside because there’s always a long list of to-dos when all I need to do is nothing. So, these days, I consciously write to-not-do lists and stick to them as much as I can.