Have you ever passed through a really difficult time at work that all you want to do is talk back, express yourself, walk away or simply quit? Then, you’re not alone.
Each day, I either motivate myself and get out of bed, excited I’ll be going to work to achieve this and that. Other times, I dread leaving the comfort of my bed, house to a job that drains me totally. Now, it’s not that I don’t like working or I’m not good at my job or I don’t like my job. Sometimes, it’s the people at work – lousy or annoying bosses, colleagues, clients, vendors, etc. Or it’s probably the environment- too noisy, dirty, cold, hot, congested, isolated, etc. Or maybe it’s the work tools- the desk, chair, laptop, phone, camera, etc. It might even be the tasks- too much, disorganized, impromptu, recurring, etc. There are many factors that could make anyone feel unmotivated, drained or unfulfilled at his or her job.
Personally, I try to cope at work with the many factors that leave me unmotivated, drained and unfulfilled, but sometimes, I just let it out in the most civil way I can or simply take it all in. It’s different and difficult for others like my sisters, friends and colleagues, but we all do have a way of coping or spilling. Here’s an example: my sister comes home from work and when I ask how her day went, it’s either she gives a three-word response “fine, thank you” or she unleashes all that happened, expresses her anger, disappointment, and narrates the entire event that’s sometimes possibly a series of events from days, weeks and months back. For me, I just speak, respond or listen, but I usually don’t have the strength to spill my side of the story. I’m always glad she gets relieved sharing her plight and we move.
Now, here’s what has helped me cope through enduring the everyday people I meet at work, but not limited to work alone. In June 2020, I read Becoming by Michelle Obama -where she briefly stated her mother’s advice concerning a math teacher in school. Her mother’s words pierced through me and became a guide which helped me stop making certain excuses, complaining and instead coping through endurance, knowing the situation was only temporal.
“You don’t have to like your teacher, but that woman’s got the kind of math in her head that you need in yours. Focus on that and ignore the rest.”Excerpt from Becoming by Michelle Obama.
From that moment, I decided to ignore whatever my colleagues, supervisor, bosses, teachers, friends and just what anyone relevant in my growth journey did to me and rather focused my energy on all the positives I’d take out. Sometimes, we just need to try and cope with a person or situation- especially if it’s one we can’t address or change. At work, I do a lot of coping through endurance because it does get on my last goddamn nerve sometimes. So, I smile and walk away. That’s a tip on emotional intelligence for building and maintaining relationships.