So, today is one of those days when I make futile wishes, practice patience and let the dirt rub off on me…while still looking like I’ve got it all together with a smashing outfit and ingenuine smile- afterall, who’ll know I’m hurting inside when I’m smiling?🤷🏽♀️
I didn’t have a good start at all. I had another dream of me being entrapped, but saved by a woman again…I was praying in tongues in my dream and woke up with prayers on my lips and yes, I continued, cried to God, studied my daily scriptures, made a few phone calls, sang, danced in the shower, dressed up, got to work, took some sugar to help boost me up and yes, work resumed.
Now, I knew since yesterday I’d have a lotta HR work to do today and decided to do my course before my coach resumed. It went on pretty well, lazy morning actually and kept hoping no work would come from noon. Again, you never know the intent of a man’s heart.
By noon, I got a call from the sponsorship unit to help out with a little admin job and assist the sponsorship unit with the packaging of letters for donors in the abroad. Now, this involved folding of letters and adding stamps to it, but first, the stamps needed to be calculated to make up the requested amount. Now, I hate calculation. It messes up my head, but this one was supposed to be easy because the cashier was around too. Now, this woman is impatient and lousy most times, throws blames around and sincerely, always going to her since she handles cash and stock is always so exhausting. She did the calculations, I didn’t even understand whatever she was doing cause I already had a terrible headache ongoing. I left, only to realize that there was an issue and just like i anticipated, she wanted me to accept the blame for something she clearly did- even when I blamed it on both of us.
Finally, I took responsibility for the mistake that wasn’t even my fault in order for peace to reign. She walked away from me, said all sorts, wasn’t even listening, and immediately, I got a call from the Emergency response unit for yet another little task they need me to handle and a thousand envelopes landed on my desk before I even said YES.
With all of these, the HR hasn’t called me up yet and I’m hoping it’s pushed to tomorrow because I’m at the verge of blacking out. Back to the miscalculation… At that point, I felt like talking to someone, but I knew I’d cry trying to explain my plight. I felt trapped, caged, angry, used and just kept taking in the moist in my already dry mouth at the point just to push back the tears which was already circling my eyes. I reassured myself I was a big girl, uttered some words of prayers to God for strength and direction, took up the sheet and remade the calculations. I got them all right, prayed, approached the fussy lady and she made her corrections, gave me what I requested for and still kept blaming me for what was and what could be… she’d already threatened to escalate the issue, but thank God for God.
As we speak, I’m just being used by other departments because I haven’t been given a precise role since August- which gets me really worried even if I try to be calm and positive about it. Today is one of those days at work when I wish wishes were horses… I’d definitely ride my way out of this organized mess I am. Did I even make a sense? Atleast, the journaling helped…