Today, I realized what love is… I mean pure, undiluted, genuine love from someone who loves you regardless. This made me realize that love is and isn’t a lot of things we define it by.
Sh*t hit different when she said ‘… you’re the only girl I’ve always been attracted to and in as much as we’re not going down on a lotta things, I feel even trying to like someone else makes me feel more like I’m cheating on you and regardless of our differences, distance, this and that, I love you and can’t cheat on you no matter what…’ This right here, melted my heart.
Thing is, I got attracted to her about 4-6 years ago and since then, nothing has ever gone down between us. She’s beautiful, sexy, smart, intelligent, God-oriented, loving, conservatively carefree, amazing and some purely undiluted soul full of goodness. Now, we’ve been in our feelings each time we’re together, but no…nothing happens. At some point, we avoided each other, but for how long? Let me define what I’ve learned from her that love isn’t…this should help you understand what love is.
Love isn’t a problem solver- no, it’s not the solution to all your problems. It won’t make your worries go away, it won’t be the magic wand that whisks away all your challenges because you’re in love.
Love isn’t a single straight line- no, it’s complex, a puzzle and not an easy feat at all. Love is fucking complicated and each time you think you’ve figured it out, the maze continues to create an ageless flame lost in the cloud.
Love isn’t clingy- no, it’s not obsessive, neither is it compulsive. Love doesn’t mean giving each other attention 24/7, calling every fucking time or chatting to keep tabs. No! Regardless of the time, distance, communication, attention, whatever comes in between, true love doesn’t expect you to come and kill yourself in the process of reciprocating the love- infact, true love isn’t obligatory.
Love isn’t hurtful- no, it doesn’t leave you broken, in pain, it isn’t toxic or leave you feeling wrecked. Love doesn’t accuse you blindly, it doesn’t try to create a problem where there’s none- it rather seeks ways to solve a problem effortlessly without hurting you further or making you realize there was a problem at first. With love, problems you had just fade away in time without grudges because that’s where your happiness and peace is sometimes.
Love isn’t static- no, it’s not some definite thing that can be defined. In fact, it’s indescribable. It happens when it wants to, with whom it wants, however, wherever and takes whatever form it wants- you can’t cage it or control it. You’ll realize that you can’t even describe love and it isn’t the same for everyone. It’s also not a passing feeling or like a one night stand- no. Love grows! The more you practice loving someone consciously and unconsciously, the more you glow from within, the more it makes you happy and the more you want to love.
Love isn’t about sacrificing your happiness- no way! Love rather encourages you to do what makes you happy as long as it won’t destroy or take a toll on you. Love won’t let you put your hands in the fire and get burnt. Love won’t make you spend your life savings on something less valuable. No, love won’t let you to do something wrong when it knows you need to do what’s right and love won’t let you give up on what makes you happy except it’s for a greater happiness.
Love isn’t selfish- no, it doesn’t make you feel terrible for being with others, doing other things and living your best life. Love isn’t just about sympathy, but empathy and support. Love won’t make him or her want you all to him/herself. No! Love isn’t selfish!
Love isn’t a sin- no! If you genuinely love someone and lust comes in play at some point, now, for me, that’s like adding some spice to the sauce… it makes it even more tasty. Love is definitely not boring- especially with the right person.
Love is more and I’ve found one more person who genuinely loves me regardless of my skin, body, size, height, regardless of time, distance…regardless of everything and I’m definitely reciprocating this one without struggling to be perfect because she loves me still- even with my imperfections.