Sincerely, I just can’t shut up about certain things and I know I really have to try working on this part of me because it’ll require a lot of unlearning and relearning when to speak up, talk about stuff and when to shut up. Here’s the deal…
I grew up in a family where almost everything was discussed in the open- from relationships, big and small plans, income, family issues and just almost everything. To us, it was more about sharing ideas, information, interests and knowing more about the next person. Yeah, we were meant to have our own individual privacy, but that didn’t just work out in my house. So, I adopted, inhibited and still exhibit these character even when I’ve left home, the world has evolved and there’s wickedness everywhere.
Personally, I’m someone who shares my everything with those I love, cherish and wouldn’t even hesitate telling a stranger stuff about me that I feel comfortable with sharing- now, that’s the problem. We trust people too easily- where I come from and that’s a gene or trait I picked up from my family. Till date, keeping a secret in my family is like…you really need to be strategic and tactical about it. Despite the distance, we still find a way to keep each other updated and share every single thing with each other.
Now, I have friends and a couple of people in my life who I wouldn’t mind sharing stuff with. Infact, if I’m close to you, I share everything with you. If I have food this morning, I tell you. If I get a surprise lunch pack, I tell you as soon as I can and not later. I drop the gist as hot as it comes. If the news turns out not working out, I know I atleast shared it and will be comforted. So, when my friends or people I’m close to starve me off gist and I end up finding out later, I feel really really bad and sidelined. It makes me feel as though I’m not important. Why? If I share every detail with you, why can’t you do same? Well, that’s how people are. If I’m going to work out tomorrow,I tell my friend or someone I speak to everyday that I’ll be doing this tomorrow or maybe by tomorrow morning or as soon as I’m done with it…not hours, days and weeks later. Now, that’s one thing my family taught me and I’ll always hold dear. Yes, it makes me feel really really bad- not like I’m trying to get all the nitty gritty about you, buh that’s why we’re close or we speak everyday right? Buh it is what it is.
Here’s my plan: I have decided to keep my business to myself until I’m asked or I feel I really need to talk about it. It’ll be difficult, buh I have to try for my sake and adjusting to this new life will be difficult buh I’ll try. Concerning my income, money, love life, family issues, plans, news…whatever, I’ll just keep it to myself and when I’m asked why I didn’t talk about it or why I’ve become so secretive, I’ll simply answer that it is what it is or that life happens. This is really gonna be difficult for me, buh I have to try and God help me shut up.