Don’t ask me if I have trust issues…we all do, buh some of us have learned to work on it, control it, give others the benefit of doubt and draw them so close. Meanwhile, others have let it overwhelm them, made it their go-to priority on that checklist for scrutiny, nurtured it, grown with it, lived with it, acted on it, replicated it in friendships, relationships, affairs and a lot more so that it’s eaten deep and destroyed the very thing they love. Yes, trust issues…
This is when you doubt another person’s words, actions, opinions, decisions so much that you feel their truth is a lie, their opinion is against you, because you’ve had people lie to you a lot in the past, hurt you so bad, done terrible things and left you feeling insecure. Yeah, confidence can be masked, it can also stem from a lot of shielded things deep within, but trust issues shows up in every line of conversation, in the images, in the silence, in the anger, in the fake laugh, in the doubts you have, in the fact that you hoard it, but can’t say it, yeah, trust issues show up in a lotta forms.
We all have trust issues. A little bit of doubt or skepticism here and there… A little bit of mistrust or lack of believe… A little bit of you saying ‘I don’t know what you’re gonna think about it, say or do… I’m not sure I need your opinion on this… Why can’t you just do it?… I don’t trust or believe you…’ Yeah, there’s that possibility that sometimes, these words aren’t uttered, but the mere thought of it stems trust issues towards a thing or a person and for the person who isn’t trusted, it hurts.
Flashback: There was a time in my life I got accused of a crime I didn’t commit and everyone… including my mum who I thought knew me in and out or had my back at all times didn’t trust me, my word, nothing. It broke me and thinking about it now, it still hurts, buh my happiness is that the truth revealed itself with time. I give people benefits of doubt, cut them tons of slacks because I know what it feels like to not take a person’s word, opinion or act for what it is.
Each time I realize the people I pour my heart too, give my body and soul to have a little doubt about my opinion, action, thoughts, words, anything at all and they reflect it in their characters, conversations, actions, anything at all…I simply SHIFT. I’ll take time to process it, think of ways to readjust and yeah, I’ll get back in line, buh deep down, it’s registered that the person has trust issues and whenever that line of conversation, action, doubt or anything shows up again sooner or later, I’ll always spot it. It just hurts that people go about living life this way and I wonder how they can be up with so much optimism to live through the next day or pass through a hurdle.
Yeah, we all have trust issues, buh it’s more glaring for some than others. Sometimes, I don’t even trust myself because myself has shocked me a lot by saying and doing things I personally wouldn’t have thought about. Buh sincerely, people need to start fixing their trust issues and insecurities before it gets the best of them, affects their relationships and leads to more physical, emotional and mental health issues. I can’t help you fix your trust issue…no one can…only you can. Nobody is against you…stop overthinking it!