From the very moment when I get to open my eyes and try to blink my vision clearer, familiarizing myself in my space, feeling the sheets and warmth of my sister’s feet next to my hands, I roll in a little, stretch, maybe make squeaking sounds and slowly curl into the duvet again or gently take it off…I embrace it all, allowing myself to feel the heat, warmth, chills, cold air, softness and the freshness of a new day.
Standing in the bathroom reluctantly, but carefully brushing with eyes almost close or wide open sometimes, I feel the chills from the half open window and hear the gentle splish-splash of rain sounds drop on the interlocked floor outside. I listen to the leaves rustling from the simultaneous effect of the rain and wind trying to find a playground. Then, I lift the handle of the faucet up, turn it right and watch how the controlled silver, crystal and metallic color of the transparent water gush out with bubbles in different sizes…I embrace it all, allowing my skin to adjust to the cold air, my ears to the different sounds and my eyes to the colors and patterns of something as insignificant as running water.
Lost in thoughts about time, traffic, rain, the messy road, my Friday, the weekend, 3 months from now, a convo from yesterday, the family chats and just all and nothing, each drop of water on my skin plunges me more into my head and for a minute, I’m lost in my thoughts. Then there’s a distraction from my neighbor who starts singing ‘Chinedum o!’ and my mind reconnects with my present. Gently, I let every drop of water glide down my skin, with the heat and cold together fighting to strike a balance on my smooth naked body…I embrace it all, allowing my body to deal with the different clashing temperatures on a cold-rainy morning in the bathroom, my mind to the important and seemingly meaningless things on how to reduce the uncontrollable tempo of my neighbor’s inconsistency in lyrics and timing versus how to rearrange my puzzled thoughts according to each’s level of importance.
In front of the mirror, I stare at my cocoa-colored skin, my dark Lebanese-like curled up hair, my bright eyes that simply wants to sparkle with some joy, my small nose with a little shine on it, my lips- a part of me I’ve come to more than cherish, the birth mark that’s more like a little distinguishing golden line just beneath my dark circled left eye- on my upper chin, my portable body and soft skin with a rounded pot belly and my navel lost inside that hole without a cover,…in bits and pieces, I reminisce the events of yesterday, the chats, calls and patch up vivid pictures of my dreams while neatly drawing my eye brows with a dark brown pencil and blending the foundation on my skin…I notice the pores open up in the cold because really, i’m shivering, but trying to keep calm…I embrace it all in…my thoughts, the noise in my head, I smile and giggle at a remembered convo and even utter a few affirmative words to keep me motivated for the day.
Again and again, with every event of the day, the noise at the bus stop, the morning breeze, the mad drivers shouting at each other, the clueless Police men looking for whom to devour, the piercing sun trying to pave a way and shine amidst the dark clouds, the smell of earth and the freshness from the rain, my mother’s shrilled voice on the other end of the line trying to keep up with the noise around me, the innocent smile of a beautiful young girl from the back seat of her mother’s car- which is next to mine, extending a hand to plaster a high five on the wound up glass as a sign of friendship…I embrace it all in because at the end of the day, the insignificant things of each day matters a lot more. So, embrace it all in…