The way June started out for me from 12am on the 1st till today- 3days later has been on a sad, dark note and I feel a lot of persons around the world are going through same or worse. First of all, I had my fair share of a breakup, then an issue with the publishing company who after our agreement on 30% initial deposit ends up sending in a mail stating 70% initial deposit. Then, I get a list of bills I have to pay even when I’ve not had a job in 3months due to the pandemic and the pressures that kept coming.
When God said: “…and darkness covered the earth and gross darkness the people…” These words keep re-echoing. In Nigeria where I am, there’s been 3 rape cases and for days now- especially yesterday the 2nd, placards, signs, black outs, protests and all have been passing round and going on with captions on hashtags: #WeAreTired #EnoughIsEnough #JusticeForTina #JusticeForUwa #JusticeForJeniffer. All day, I tried to be calm about it and not say so much until I went through the media and saw a birthday upload of a guy who almost raped me and who I almost killed that day. I remembered my cries, screams, struggles, the bites I gave to him, the way my hands shook with the knife in my hand, the hysterical laughter in his voice, the way his friend sat outside feigning incredulity to the noise and how terrified I was plus the other 7 cases of attempted rape- besides the assaults, molestation, and abuse. I remembered my friend who has been a rape victim for over 8 times and the other one for over 15 times and the married one who complains her husband keeps raping her and the other girl who says the only way she enjoys sex is if she’s raped- because that’s what her body is used to. Still, no man can identify a rape apologist, but most women can identify other victims.
Then, my friend calls to let us know that her mum just died from the #Covid19 pandemic and now she’s an orphan with no siblings and no one to call family- in this cruel world and dark times. I have a previous colleague lying on the hospital bed as a #Covid19 patient, who doesn’t know if he’ll live or die…all to what end?
In USA with all the protests and racism, #BlackLivesMatter, #ICan’tBreathe, #BlackOutTuesday is trending on all social media streets and people are protesting, dying, looting, killing, getting jailed and all because the leaders and others in authority are bigots, sexists, racists, etc. My friend’s colleague was beaten, tortured and used a pepper spray on even when he was unarmed and non-violent.
My question is, to what end? If men still cannot respect women and listen to a silent ‘No’ without her having to scream it or repeat it a second time or struggle and get injured, raped or killed to cover it up; to what end? If at home and abroad, blacks and Africans cannot live together in harmony and be one that they are without having to be tribalistic, racist, religious, and all; to what end? If people are not accepted in their own homes nor outside their homes; to what end? If Presidents of nation’s cannot lead the people who voted them into power as a result of their failed promises and lies and hypocrisy and marginalization and biases and all; to what end? Humans have failed humans, leaders have failed followers, the government has failed the masses, the police has failed those they’re to protect, the health institution has failed the young and old…;to what end?
To think that my birthday is two weeks away and June is already starting out with all the darkness, will there be anything to celebrate? There’s so much fear, pain, darkness, tears, hurt, worry, sadness and a lot of bad news flying around.
Do say a prayer of hope for the people you know and those you do not know because these are trying times. This too shall pass…🤦🏽♀️