I’m not ashamed to own it… Yes!
Some of us come from broken pasts still trying to navigate and stitch the pieces together in our present lives. We come from struggling experiences of one meal or two a day or maybe none. A place where growing up in the midst of all that pain made us stronger we forgot to heal. With little or no experience and caution, we picked up insecurities, trust issues and second guessed ourselves. With little steps of adventure and ignorance, we picked up flowers and thorns along the way. Now, with little fear and a hope we can’t fully call hope, we try to mend our brokenness.
Yes! I’ve taken steps I shouldn’t have, made bad choices I still live with, made mistakes and learnt lessons the hard way. So, don’t judge me. I came into life without a manual nor guide and I’ve lived through it still by doing it the best possible way. You’ve got it all together, well, good for you cause I don’t. You were born with a silver spoon, I think mine was made of clay. You were raised in a castle, well, I slept in the cubicle. You had your parents intact, I had both and others one. Your birth was a celebration, I’ve never had a birthday cake. So, while you drink your wine from the VIP table, please let me enjoy my coconut water because it’s what I can afford. Don’t judge me because you don’t know me.
Yes! I’m still trying to lace the pieces together, make a living for myself, carve my name on stones I can, live with the pain I was born into, stay strong enough for myself and maybe some, take responsibility for all my actions and rewrite my story every step of the way. So, don’t judge me. Don’t pity me too.
On my path to being whole, I still fall short and shatter again. Regardless, it’s on me to mend my brokenness and take up my cross. If I’m strong enough to walk without healing, but bleeding; without venting, but forgiving; without help, but curses… Then, leave me alone to my fate. My maker knows I was made imperfect and I’m only trying my best. Waking up everyday alone is more than enough. Please let me mend my brokenness…