Did you know that there is never a perfect thing, time, person or even a picture perfect? Well, imperfection is totally inevitable and perfection is abstract. Let me tell you a little story.
A few years ago, I’d say I was gradually and almost suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and to me I termed it ‘keeping organised’. I’d go from carefully and neatly folding, to arranging my clothes, shoes, bags, books, and even arrange papers according to their sizes and colours. When I had to do something, I had to make sure it was done before I could rest, eat, get any distractions or do just any other thing. I slept on white sheets, was as punctual as the clock itself, had a weekly self routine which included manicure and pedicure sessions with myself only because no one would do it the way I wanted. I hated making mistakes, dreaded anything that would cause order or take my calm and peace away. At some point, everything just had to be perfect.
There were times when my brother, sister, nephews and nieces including friends would get on my last nerve by simply taking a book from its rightful place and dumping it elsewhere. Other times when my friends came around and appreciated my neatness but would always fling clothes here and there, stain the sheets, pick something without my consent or do something without my approval. I had terrible anger issues that grew in nanoseconds. In my angry state, I would either walk away in silence – accepting defeat, bottling up and shedding tears or simply taking it out on something by turning my room down side up. I will take off the sheets, scattered the pile of books, empty boxes of clothes, grab a meal and a drink, eat and finally sleep in that disorganised state. Sometimes it took a day or two or even more to calm myself down and go back to my perfect lifestyle. The good part was, I became an interior decorator, my life’s project manager, a quack crisis co-ordinator, a hard-working and focused young girl who just wanted everything to be perfect.
Now, here’s the thing…
I got to dot my i’s and cross my t’s from a very young age and putting a dent in the universe was more like destroying the picture perfect. It took me years of self discovery, anger management, personal relations full of patience, tolerance, acceptance, accommodation, awareness, moderation and understanding the difference between abstraction and reality, to get me where I am today and even as a people-oriented person now.
Eventually, I had to unlearn, learn and relearn a lot of things. Dealing with myself and having to deal with all this has not been an easy road, neither will it someday be a totally smooth sail. The beauty of life, is in having a whole lot of imperfections around you, but still being able to navigate, stay friendly, value and be grateful, have ups and downs, and embrace imperfection.
If you are anything like I was, I need you to understand that a puzzle is made up of imperfect pieces coming together to form a whole piece. The most beautiful and high priced art works are those made out of imperfect pieces and at odd hours. You can never attain the height of perfection no matter how much you try and sincerely, there’s no fresh air in a box.